another moral hangover. fuck.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
