Just cropdusted the office
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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