What a fucking waste of an outfit
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We have so much sex to catch up on
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize