also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
