I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize