was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
