I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
