i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
