i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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