i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
