You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
