Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
