yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize