Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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