Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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