im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
