I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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