You can't motorboat a personality
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
