Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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