Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
