he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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