I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
