how can u be prego again
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
