I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
