C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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