You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
