How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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