Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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