The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
false alarm, still single
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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