Porn is love you can see.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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