I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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