Duck Duck Cougar?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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