So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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