and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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