Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
