I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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