Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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