So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize