so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
