That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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