it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
