it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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