Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
