i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
