He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize