They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he fucked my hip out of place.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
