She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
