We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
