She's JV to your varsity
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I didn't notice because vodka
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
