try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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