And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
