HIV tests are more positive than that guy
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
