She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
