just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
