At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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