Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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