in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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