Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize