I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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