Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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