I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
