I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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