we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize