you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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