after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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