My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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