The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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