Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
