I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
