Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize